I spent many years in therapy answering the question “How do you feel?” with “Well, I THINK…” I used to believe that the problem was the cognitive strategies I was using. I just needed better self-talk. Sharper reframes. A SHINY, NEW FRAMEWORK. The problem is, however, that it’s hard to know how you feel when you…don’t. Whether it’s alexithymia (difficulties recognising and communicating emotions), a lack of interoception or good’ ol shutdown in periods of overwhelm (or all

Most managers want to support their neurodivergent team members, they just don't know how without making it weird or othering.  Here's the framework I teach:  Question 1: "What conditions help you do your best work?"  NOT: "What accommodations do you need?" (frames them as the problem)  YES: "What conditions help you do your best work?" (frames environment as adjustable)  This works because:  It's a question you could ask anyone  It focuses on optimisation, not deficit It g

Most neurodiversity initiatives fail for one reason: they're designed to help neurodivergent people fit in better. Stop trying to fix people. Start fixing systems. Accommodation mindset (which is what most cultures use) says: "We have a standard way of working. If you can't do it that way, we'll make exceptions." The message neurodivergent employees hear: "You're the problem. We'll help you fit in better." This creates:  Shame (needing to be "accommodated")  Isolation (being

When you're gifted AND neurodivergent (also known as 2e, or twice exceptional): your high intelligence doesn't eliminate your neurodivergent support needs, it just masks them better and creates more shame around asking for accommodations. You develop elaborate compensation strategies that work brilliantly, until they don't (oh haiiii perimenopause).When the cognitive load becomes unsustainable, you burn out. You've been compensating so effectively, no one realizes you're stru