I spent many years in therapy answering the question “How do you feel?” with “Well, I THINK…” I used to believe that the problem was the cognitive strategies I was using. I just needed better self-talk. Sharper reframes. A SHINY, NEW FRAMEWORK. The problem is, however, that it’s hard to know how you feel when you…don’t. Whether it’s alexithymia (difficulties recognising and communicating emotions), a lack of interoception or good’ ol shutdown in periods of overwhelm (or all

Most managers want to support their neurodivergent team members, they just don't know how without making it weird or othering.  Here's the framework I teach:  Question 1: "What conditions help you do your best work?"  NOT: "What accommodations do you need?" (frames them as the problem)  YES: "What conditions help you do your best work?" (frames environment as adjustable)  This works because:  It's a question you could ask anyone  It focuses on optimisation, not deficit It g

Most neurodiversity initiatives fail for one reason: they're designed to help neurodivergent people fit in better. Stop trying to fix people. Start fixing systems. Accommodation mindset (which is what most cultures use) says: "We have a standard way of working. If you can't do it that way, we'll make exceptions." The message neurodivergent employees hear: "You're the problem. We'll help you fit in better." This creates:  Shame (needing to be "accommodated")  Isolation (being

Regulation first. Results follow. Why most productivity systems fail neurodivergent leaders, and what to do about it.

WHEN YOU ARE SUPPORTED your neurodivergence isn't a liability, it's leverage.

A few months ago, a leadership client asked me: "How do I know if I’m honouring my capacity or just being lazy?" Oof. She'd just turned down a speaking opportunity. A reeeeeeally good one. The kind that would have looked impressive on LinkedIn. But she was already stretched thin and her nervous system was sending clear signals- now was not the time. Still she was questioning herself because somewhere along the way, we learned that saying yes to everything is ambition, and hon